Moving forward holding Grief's hand

One thing that I have noticed lately, I am not motivated. 
Everything seems to have hit me all at once. It is almost 7 months since my dad has died. It feels like so long ago. Like I'm looking down a tunnel. I'm not crying as much, nor am I dysregulated emotionally much... well, not much more than normal. I have noticed that my motivation is waning. It feels like depression, but I don't think that's what this is. I'm still in love with my job, I'm still in love with my partner. I'm still getting done... well... no I'm not.
My father was a diabetic for the last 20 years of his life. Looking at pictures I can see the progression of the disease, the disease I have now been diagnosed with for the last 10 days. I know I've had it longer than the last 10 days. It was very easy for me to cut out sugar and processed foods. It was very easy to go through the fridge and the cupboards and get rid of 90% of the processed food residing there. It was even easy to start looking up diabetic friendly recipes. It was easy because I keep seeing his face... The before and after pictures of my father that showed me when the disease took him from us. Dementia is now considered Diabetes Type 3. So, even though I'm not motivated, I am extremely motivated to not lose my mind.
I finished getting all the paperwork I needed to the lawyer and to the accountant. I still have one thing to take care of from my father's estate and that keeps slipping my mind. 
I'm working too hard, too much, too long... again. Am I avoiding? Am I surviving? Am I dissociating?
I think the long and the short of it is, I'm doing all three. Am I doing life well? No, probably not. I find myself Doom Scrolling. I find myself losing time in finding recipes. I'm bored but I have so much to do! I'm not sleeping well at night, which makes me want to take naps during the day. I want to call people and talk to them, but I don't have the strength to have the conversations I need to have. 
This is my grief, this is me missing my person. This is me wanting him back for just one more... One more kiss, one more hug, one more really bad joke... One more chance for me to say how much he means to me, how much I loved being his daughter! How much I enjoyed getting to know him again, even though he wasn't himself any more.